All I can say is: thanks for slapping me in the face.
This movie is another in the long line of “action-packed with very little realism” films. Do you think you could get scooped up in a drifting sports car going probably 30mph+ and not even break your lower legs? I don’t. Could you be IN a train-car that falls over 100 feet and just have a few scratches to show for it? I sure as heck don’t. Do you think you can temporarily suspend the laws of physics and twist a gun while shooting it such that the bullet curves around people and other objects? Yea, not happening.
Anyhow, Angelina Jolie’s in it. That doesn’t do a lot for me either. Morgan Freeman’s in it. His character tries to be a bad-ass like he’s Samuel L mother-fricking Jackson. It just sounds odd seeing the nice old guy from The Bucket List swearing. I tried my darndest to think what the main actor was in to no avail. I finally looked it up. The kid’s name is James McAvoy, and he played Mr. Tumnus in The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe.
Premise of the movie is simple. The main guy, Wesley, has a boring life in which the world craps on him regularly. He has no dreams, no aspirations. He just knows he’s miserable where he is. Then he finds out he’s actually the son of a wicked-awesome assassin and through genetics is capable of becoming just as wicked-awesome himself. Of course he has to go thru the training. I assure you, if you thought your on-the-job training was hard, wait until you see what this kid has to do.
I actually liked the movie overall. The slapping in the face part came at the end. See, I’m aware that I’m a couch potato. It’s one of my unfortunate-but-honest defining characteristics. When I watch an action movie, I know that I’m watching other people do things that I can’t do. And since those 30-second training montages don’t exist in real life, I’ll likely NEVER be able to do what they’re doing. Even knowing this, I still don’t want to be reminded of it by the people in the movie. The main guy pretty much says at the end of the film “your life is as lame and pointless as mine used to be, I’m way cooler than you could ever dream of, and you’re a lazy donut-munching moron”. Oh, and he threw in a swear word, which meant what he said was really important.
So basically if you find yourself enjoying gratuitous violence, unbelievable action scenes, fake techniques and bullet casings, and rats blowing up en-masse, this film’s for you. But after you see that one guy get what’s coming to him at the end of the film, turn it off. The monologue is stupid, and you won’t miss a thing not listening to it.