If this is the only tech blog you read, there’s one of two things I have to say to you. Either God’s blessed you and your life doesn’t revolve around electronics like mine does, or God help you because you haven’t found a more reliable place for tech news. At least on this issue, I’m getting the article out there the same day as the special happening. And that happening is: Apple announced a tablet computer that won’t be on sale for months but every Apple fan-boy is already in love with. The iPad.

Old people gag gift

Rumors have abounded for some time now about what specifications this device would have. It was obvious it would have a touchscreen. But what else would it fit under the hood? Well, to put it simply, it’s pretty much a giant iPod Touch. Have you been to Walgreens and they have those “giant” remote controls that are kind of gag gifts for old people? Well it’s pretty much like that, except with an iPod Touch. The iPad has a 10″ touchscreen, and does a couple more computer-like things than the Touch does. Documents and spreadsheets and presentations and…. umm…. okay, so very few more computer-like features.

Old Crappy, as I came to call it

You want a more complicated breakdown? Okay, here goes. When I started college back in 2004, I invested in two pieces of tech that I thought would be essential to my surviving. My parents had already furnished me with an eMachine laptop (are they still around?), so all I needed was a PDA and an mp3 player. I went to Dell’s website for both, because they made good stuff and I liked them from earlier systems. They were at the time manufacturing their own brand of both products. The picture on the right is a Dell Axim X30. Again I say, I bought this device in 2004. Now let’s compare what it could do with what they’re saying the iPad will do.

Feature 2010 iPad 2004 Axim
Touchscreen yes yes
16gb or larger hard drive yes no
Plays music yes yes
Displays pictures yes yes
Plays video yes yes
Does documents,
spreadsheets, presentations
yes yes
Does infrared transfers no yes
WiFi yes yes
Has a self-righteous evil genius of a
CEO come out to promote it
yes no
Said CEO takes 1.5 hours to showcase how you
can touch it & stuff happens
yes no
Runs OS that locks you into certain
formats and syncing software
yes yes
Stylus yes yes
3G If you spend enough No, it didn’t exist

In conclusion, if you want a giant pretty touchscreen for $500+ that could’ve been invented in 2004 and had 3G added to it, it’s your prerogative. If you’d like to avoid the kool-aid, just say pass. I’m not so much of a tool to not recognize that touchscreens are likely the future of computing interfaces. But this just doesn’t have that extra POP that my fanboy/fangirl coworkers brag about Apple having with everything they make. Such a let-down.

iPod Touch, Special Grandma Edition!