WARNING: VIDEO CONTAINS LANGUAGE AND ADULT CONTENT
I love how this group gets to sit around and just geek out over details in movies and comics. Wish I was this witty or had a group to talk like this with. Well I have a wonderful wife who lets me talk about stuff and listens well. But other than that…

So what do you think? What power would you have? I’ve always found it a toss-up between a few different powers, some of which they make reference to in this video.

One thing they didn’t talk about was shape-shifting. I encountered this one in the Animorphs book series that came out in my younger days. If they did, they would probably say it had to be to an individual thing and back again. Everyone always wants to fly, so a hawk would be the clear choice. But were you born with the instincts about how to move your flight feathers to achieve lift? I wasn’t, and imagine it would take quite some time to master flight, even if I was suddenly given the best form for making it happen. But then what? I fly around, and that’s awesome. But what about those little annoying birds? You know, the group of four tiny birds that harass bigger birds trying to fly around. That would drive me crazier than useless construction sites on my morning commute. And what could I do about it? I could try to kill them, but they have superior maneuverability and a lifetime of experience “being a bird”. Even after I turned back to a human, the birds tend to fly off. And I think my homeowner’s association would have something to say if I broke out the shotgun to take the little buggers down.

They mention Time Stop in the video above, and that one has always been paired with Time Rewind in my mind. But of course, the rule is just one power. Time Stop has limited uses. What can you do if you’re about to get in a car accident? Stopping time just allows you to look over the situation. Maybe you could turn a wheel some. But my reflexes are slow enough for the things I do now. I’d always be stopping time 3 seconds after it would have been useful. And my wife mentioned a significant point on this one: what all gets frozen? If solid objects are stuck in place, wouldn’t water and air do likewise? So if you froze time and stood still, you’d suffocate because the air isn’t free to move in and out of your lungs. So you could Stop for as long as you could hold your breath. Unless you walked around to suck up the frozen air particles, which could lead to a second interesting side effect: air compression. If the air Stops when you exhale it, you could run around and breathe in air, then exhale it all in one spot. When you unStopped time, the dense air would expand suddenly, causing a little gust of air around that. If you could compact it enough, you could make an air explosion. Knock people over and such. But I digress…

Time Rewind strikes me as a neater option. Yes, like the Time Turner in Harry Potter. Feel like staying up late to play Team Fortress 2? Go ahead! Just rewind and sleep later. Wanted to get some time in to study Korean or go for a long bike ride? Do it! But then you’d be living moments over again in your life. So you’d age faster for each time you used it, and I’d be tempted to use it a lot. Sure I might be in better health, but I’d end up being at least 60 when my wife is only 30. No, I’d probably be older. Say I redid 5 hours in the early morning. I’d be tired 5 hours earlier than my normal bedtime. So unless I rewound again, my sleep schedule would be forever off.

Now here’s a power I really like: book absorption. I saw this one in a movie called Meteor Man. In the film, this regular guy gets hit by a meteor and gets superpowers. One of them is that any book he contacts, he absorbs all the information contained therein for about 30 seconds. Then it wears off. Now if it was my one power, I don’t expect a time limit to be in effect. Or maybe it would only be for as long as I was holding the book. If that were the case I’d always have a library stored in my backpack. And presumably this doesn’t work with e-books all stored in an electronic device. That’s just too much like cheating. But how useful would it be? If it was only one book at a time, then I’m forever stuck without context. I can’t get into advanced biology because I don’t know all the terminology biology majors know that helps make that textbook make sense. Do-it-yourself books would work. Carry around one of those guides to home repair that includes pictures, and I can fix any problem that pops up around my house. Give me a guide to CPR and the Heimlich Maneuver and I’ll save that choking victim in the restaurant. And don’t you dare touch me with the restaurant menu while I’m doing this, or my knowledge gets swapped for the list of specials available this week. So even this power that sounds neat is still met with enough drawbacks to make it much less awesome in reality. Though I’d still be a hoot at Bible drills.

More to come in Part 2 next week. But feel free to start commenting now. What do you think of the powers I’ve listed? Any complaints about my comments or the video above’s comments? What power would you have?

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