This is a continuation of a ramble from last week about having an individual super power. To watch the video that inspired it and read the first post, click here.
Maybe you want to be the smartest person in the room? Another power I thought of would be to know everything that people around you know. But that has the same drawbacks as being telepathic mentioned in above video. I really don’t need to know the Clark in Accounting has a hemorrhoid problem. And of course inevitably your manager would want to take you on a business conference so you can tell other managers smart things. But if he doesn’t bring the actual smart people along, you are stuck with only being able to tell people stuff they already know. Plus, does every bit of knowledge get labeled in your own mind? I know for a fact that Jesus Christ – a real person who was fully God and fully man – came to earth, died for my sins, rose from the dead, and will stand in my defense at the white throne of judgment after I die. So I walk into a room with Richard Dawkins, who has ‘proven’ in his own mind that no God exists and we were put here by aliens and our consciousness disappears after our brain stops getting oxygen. That’s going to be the most severe case of cognitive dissonance if I have to KNOW both of those things at the same time.
I inquired of my parents about this question too. They have not seen the video. Both of them are older than me and therefore have a different outlook on life. Dad, who has been doing a lot of yard work at his new house, was going for the Wolverine angle of healing powers. I shared with him what the video says, about getting buried inevitably. And my sweet and kind mother wanted to be able to heal pain in herself and others. That struck me as the first idea that was really not so self-centered. Which of course meant other people would want her around all the time. The government would kidnap her and fly her out to a battlefield so she could be Mrs. Band-Aid for every soldier in a warzone. And we would need to specify whether it was just healing pain (a la Human Advil) or healing injury. Healing pain would be simpler. You just make people feel better without actually removing the problem. But if I healed every ache I ever had as it came around, I could never describe to a doctor what was hurting. As the doctor lady in Stargate Universe said once, “Sometimes the body feels pain for a reason. I’d rather not mask that.” But if it’s healing injury, then it’s back to Mrs. Band-Aid for her. But how far are we taking the word ‘injury’? Is aging a form of injury? Are people going to be kept alive forever if they hang out around my mom? Or does she have to be making physical contact? Aura of healing would be much easier to maintain. By the time I’d mentioned half these things, mom was saying, “Okay, forget about healing. I don’t want to heal people anymore!”
And now for my coup de grace: the one power I think I could have and still live with all the side effects. That would be the Jumper Teleportation. I listened to all the complaints about it and figured I could get around most of them just fine. The one downside that would really make it much less cool would be if my wife can’t teleport with me. I could always come back to her quickly, but some of the uses I have in mind leave her sitting around being jealous of my cool power. So what if I can’t teleport stuff with me? I would have to set up teleport points like my parents’ guest bedroom closet or the gym at work where I keep a spare set of clothes to throw on. What if I can only teleport to places I’ve been? Well, it would be awesome to “pop in” on my in-laws in Korea. Some setup work would be necessary on that one. I’d have to fly there on a plane, set up a teleport point, and fly back. I couldn’t just teleport back because I’d be leaving my passport behind. Also it would show that I’d left America and not returned via legitimate means. I would have to leave some clothes in Korea. They have very few people my size, so it would be very hard to shop there for clothing. So there’s a perk, because I would have an opening in my suitcase for bringing back souvenirs! And if for a good length of time my wife wanted to visit her sister in Kansas City, she can! I’ll teleport there to see her, then teleport back to Indy for work. Even if that gym locker thing didn’t work (clothes might be too wrinkled), I could use my parents’ closet and then drive into work like a normal person. So the biggest up-side to teleportation is getting to stay in touch with people everywhere better. The two big downsides are the clothing issue and the rampant jealousy issue. Because I’m sure more than just my wife would wonder how I ‘commute’ from KC to Indy every morning and evening.
So that’s all the rambling I can think of. Again, let me know if you can think of other drawbacks I didn’t think of. Or list a power and see if I can find an issue with it. All comments are appreciated and none go ignored.